The Ups And Downs Of Crowdfunding Part 2

Written on 30 October 2024, 9.02 pm, by Adlyn Koh

In the part one of The Ups And Downs Of Crowdfunding, I briefly touched on the topic about how I felt when crowdfunding. Today, I'll focus more about my main challenges in this whole crowdfunding thing. Here are some:

Time:
I usually spend close to half a day on this website (the first half is spent in school). I don't have a lot of time to myself so if I want to have playdates or just hang out with my friends, I have to plan for it a few weeks earlier. Not only that, I have to make time for family. Fortunately, these few days I have been spending less time online and have more family and friends time now.

Prioritising:
I remember the day I launched this website, it was night time (probably 8 something pm) and my sister asked me to play her new toy set with her. I knew how important family time was so I told everyone in the house that I was going to spend time with my sister so that they won't have a sudden change of plans. Halfway through our playtime, my brother joined in. A short while later, my father came in with my mother. I felt joyful, the whole family was in the same room (a rare moment at night)! Just then, my father began talking to my mother about the new OCBC kids thingy where kids and teenagers can get their own debit card. He helped me create my own OCBC account and picked a debit card design for me. This process took about twenty minutes and I had to leave my sister and brother multiple times for the debit card stuff. I felt disappointed as the reason I told my whole family that I it was my sister's and my playtime together was to prevent this from happening (someone pulling me away from my family time to do something else). Looking back at that night, I think I made a wise choice. Sacrificing my play and family time was why I now have my own debit card and you can just scan the QR codes and PayNow directly to my bank account. 

Stress:

This is what I hear every. Single. Day: "Adlyn, the funding page need to edit this...", "Adlyn, think about your blog...", "Adlyn, your tokens of gratitude maybe add something here...", "Adlyn, this info copy and move it to the funding page also...", "Adlyn, you made a mistake here...", "Adlyn have you updated the 'Amazing Supporters' page?" Every time I answer "Yes" to a question, I feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. But every time I answer "Err...no?" to a question, I feel a wave of guilt and anxiety crash over me. I have a lot on my list of things to do. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I look at the to-do list that I have yet to clear. 

But I managed to almost get pass them everyday. Sometimes I'll listen to the piano version of my favourite songs while completing tasks. Other times, I'll reward myself with free time and keep my mind focused on the reward after I finish the things on my list. Most of the times, I'll complete half the checklist and spend a few seconds ticking them off with satisfaction. These helped me get past my busy and endless day. I kind of feel like I'm at work in the office...haha. 

Reminders:

I would prefer to be reminded of something once or twice a day to make sure that it is completed. But if I get too many reminders for the same thing, I'll feel emotionally overwhelmed and stressed. For example, I was halfway through a blog and updating my website when guests arrived. I went down for dinner and before I had the chance to mingle with them and eat dessert (fruits), I was reminded and questioned whether I had done this and that. The conversation ended when the person asked me to go and update my website. I'm not complaining or anything (okay, maybe I am, a bit). I love this website, I love my Amazing Supporters to the moon and back. I'm so so so so grateful for you guys but sometimes, the reminders and checking in it gets on my nerves a bit. This point of view I'm starting to develop is probably some effect of puberty but still, I think we need a break from time to time. And even if people point out that I do take breaks often, I feel like I never took any breaks. Not one. Now I'm starting to wonder if people who work in the office experience this everyday. I kind of appreciate them more after this episode of my life. 

All that I'm trying to say is that I think I need to step away from this for a full day, not worry about updating it and stuff, just focus on recreational things. Not having to edit the website every night and sleep the latest (again, I am NOT complaining, just writing down my everyday life). I absolutely LOVE this website and I don't regret anything I've sacrificed for this but I can't let it take over my life and control the amount of family time I get with my family. Maybe it's time to rest and work on others things I have to complete (writing books with my best friend for example, she has been diligently writing and I feel guilty that I'm not helping). Maybe when I come back to the website, I will have different ideas and view the website differently. 

I just realised how negative this blog sounded like and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm complaining to you guys. I know that you guys also have a bunch of problems to manage, and this blog is probably not helping. But I had to provide you with the detailed version of part 1... Anytime you feel emotionally weighed down by life, just know that you're not alone and you have people who are in the same boat as you. You won't regret working hard to achieve your dreams. But you'll regret not working harder. Once again, sorry in advance in case this blog made you feel sad and guilty. Just remember that I love you guys and this website and I do not regret this. Not one bit.

Best Regards,

Adlyn :)